Spelthorne Council tells staff that "he" and "she" are not inclusive terms, urging them to use "them/they"

Max Thompson, Campaigns Officer

28 September 2026

Over recent years, we have seen councils grow in their desire to police speech and wrongthink. The Free Speech Union has helped a significant number of councillors who have had the code of conduct thrown at them for saying something completely legal and legitimate, whether in person or, increasingly, online.

Spelthorne Borough Council in Surrey has now taken this madness to the next level. In an updated inclusive language and communication guide, the Liberal Democrat-led coalition council encouraged staff to change the language they use to ensure that people feel "welcome, seen, heard and respected, regardless of their backgrounds".

It claimed that using language such as "them" or "they", rather than "he" or "she", plays a powerful role in tackling stereotypes and making employees feel more comfortable.

The document, which was last updated in June last year, was criticised at the time for its "authoritarianism" after it emerged that it had described terms such as "manpower", "blacklist", and "ladies" as offensive.

Shockingly, the council offered no explanation as to why these terms are deemed to be "non-inclusive".

If you thought that this inclusivity guide could not get any more ridiculous, you would be wrong. The guide seeks to discourage council employees from using the terms "husband or wife", instead pushing people towards alternatives such as "spouse or partner". It also suggests that "chair or chairperson" is better than the traditional "chairman/chairwoman", and that "Too many cooks in the kitchen" should replace "Too many chiefs".

But it does not stop there. The guide also said that people should replace the term "alcoholic" with "alcohol-use disorder", that "gay, lesbian or LGBTQ+" should be used instead of "homosexual", and that "developing countries" is preferred to "third world".

Words such as "ninja", "rockstar", and "bossy" have also been highlighted as terms to avoid. Instead, people should opt for "multi-tasker", "fast learner, talented", and "driven" respectively. The document also steered people away from the terms "slaving away", "blind spot", "tone-deaf", and "lame".

In what amounts to the further infantilisation of the British public, the guide is accompanied by a "communication tips" document and an advice sheet that asks those speaking with "ethnic groups where English is their second language" to "speak at a slower rate" and use "short sentences".

Sadly, Spelthorne is not the only authority or public body to have issued guidance interfering with the language individuals use day to day.

Sussex Health and Care sent a guide to its local NHS trust warning against calling people "patients". The Civil Aviation Authority said that "stewardess" was not inclusive; the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development has in the past called the term "businessman" offensive; and Age UK described the term "bed blocker" as both offensive and ageist.

Read more in The Telegraph.